


A Smile That Consummates

by RhymePhile



Series: Smile [12]
Category: Law & Order: SVU, Oz (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Banter, Canon Compliant, Crossover, Homophobic Language, M/M, Minor Violence, Romance, Series, Sex, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-03-19
Updated: 2007-03-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 03:16:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/107748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RhymePhile/pseuds/RhymePhile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Elliot and Tobias celebrate their one-year anniversary by revisiting the bar in which they first met. Part 12 (final) of <i>The Smile Series</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Smile That Consummates

**Author's Note:**

> I have to mention that this is the 12th installment of the Smile Series, and today is a year to the day since I began this story. I need to dedicate this chapter to [](http://debaser28.livejournal.com/profile)[**debaser28**](http://debaser28.livejournal.com/) and [](http://sooozie1982.livejournal.com/profile)[**sooozie1982**](http://sooozie1982.livejournal.com/) for their [original inspiration](http://community.livejournal.com/tietuckluv/12457.html) for the series. Without those casual few posts, this series never would have occurred.
> 
> Secondly, I'd like to thank all of you who have consistently provided feedback, kind thoughts, pokings and proddings, and general good-natured stalking. I've never spent this long -- nor have I dedicated myself so completely -- to one fic. I'm glad to have people who are interested in this little tale. It brings me much joy.

Elliot yawned as he deftly cracked an egg into the frying pan with one hand. Scrutinizing his handiwork, he squinted at it carefully. Not a piece of shell to be seen. He was getting good at this gay domestic life stuff. He put a little more butter in the pan and added another egg, then turned the heat down slightly.

He worked a 4 to 12 last night and didn't get home until after 2, but the long drive into Queens was worth it to be able to wake up next to Tobias this morning. Although it didn't happen often, he still felt guilty sometimes when he didn't make it back to the house. His apartment in Manhattan was convenient -- it just didn't have Tobias waiting there for him.

Today of all days he felt that he needed to be with Tobias. This morning Elliot promised himself he would be up to see him off to work, even if it meant falling asleep in his oatmeal.

The box of McCann's Irish Oatmeal on the table made him grin, as did the green place setting, the green napkin, and the Guinness plate he found at the back of the cabinet. Also adding to the breakfast table ambience were little plastic leprechaun salt and pepper shakers, a shamrock tablecloth, and a green carnation in a green vase.

Yes, it was his favorite holiday of the year.

When he and Dickie would decorate for St. Patrick's Day, Kathy and the girls would roll their eyes at the garishness. It only made the men bolder, and they sought each year to cover the house in as much green as possible. Elliot sighed, wondering how Dickie was spending the holiday.

He allowed himself only a moment to think about it, focusing instead on how he wanted to spend St. Patrick's Day _this_ year. The celebration had an added significance: it was a year today since he met Tobias at _The Green Mile_.

Last year he had been in such a dark place. His life was falling apart, his anger was almost burning him alive, and the bitterness he felt over Kathy's departure had turned him into a walking shell. He had to admit his disillusionment over the way their marriage had collapsed still bothered him, but his life was different now.

Elliot moved back to the stove and flipped the eggs. He had hopped out of bed just as Tobias's alarm went off in order to make breakfast for him as a surprise. He had hoped Tobias would have been able to get off for their anniversary, but weekends were generally busy at the gallery and Tobias didn't want to give the owners any reason to get rid of him. Elliot tried to convince him, but Tobias was adamant about not taking any time off yet. He was dedicated to making people believe in him again, and worried about rocking the boat in any way.

Elliot understood his dedication. It didn't make passing away the hours until they could be together later any easier, though. This was going to be one of the longest St. Patty's Days ever.

He slid some bread into the toaster and walked over to the bottom of the stairs, scratching his bare stomach as he did so.

"Tobias! Get your ass moving!"

A blonde head popped into view. "Good morning to you, too, sunshine."

Elliot smirked. "Sorry. I thought you went back to sleep."

"How's anyone supposed to go back to sleep with you jumping out of bed this morning and squealing 'Wheeeee, it's St. Patty's Daaaaay!' at the top of your lungs?"

Elliot made a face at him. "I did _not_ squeal."

"You were uncharacteristically...exuberant."

"I just love this holiday, that's all."

"Honestly, I wouldn't have guessed, except for the fact that it looks like the [Jolly Green Giant](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jolly_Green_Giant) _threw up_ in this house."

"Too much?"

"Elliot..." Tobias sat down on the top step. "You're wearing shamrock-covered boxers."

"You can take them off me if you want," Elliot said with a leer.

Tobias laughed, a huffy sound coming from his throat.

"C'mon, I made you breakfast."

"[Lucky Charms](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucky_Charms)?" Tobias teased, straightening his tie as he came down the stairs.

Elliot grabbed him and kissed him, pulling him over to the table.

"Mmm, that's a nice way to start my day."

Elliot walked back to the stove. "I wish you could have gotten off today."

"Dathúil, I told you..."

"I know, I know."

Tobias grabbed the toast and brought it to the table, then slathered butter and strawberry jelly over the slices. "I just don't want to give them any reason to hold anything over my head, y'know?" he said, taking a bite.

"I do know, but you're not in prison anymore, bud. They allow you time off."

"Ell..."

"Okay, sorry," he said, waving his hand. "I won't bring it up anymore. It's going to be a long day for me without you, that's all."

"You're tough, and I'll be out by 5. Be glad this year you're not working like you were last year."

"Yeah," Elliot agreed, placing the plate of eggs down in front of Tobias. "But if I weren't working last year we never would have met."

Tobias picked up his fork, paused, then looked up at the man standing above him. "Elliot?"

"Yeah?"

"You made me eggs."

Elliot grinned. "I did. Over easy, the way you like them."

"Eggs are such a nice surprise."

"I'm glad."

"You know what else is surprising?"

"What?"

"That they're also green, Elliot."

"Yep."

"You're killing me."

"Little bit of food coloring to put you in the holiday spirit."

Tobias put his hand on his chin and looked at him.

"What?" Elliot asked.

"You're turning into a domestic goddess."

"_Tobias_."

The other man grinned at Elliot's exasperation and began eating. "I really am sorry we can't spend the whole day together."

"You'll make it up to me."

"Is that right?"

Elliot nodded. "You can pay for my $7.95 corned beef and cabbage special."

"Wait...I thought we were going out to dinner tonight to celebrate."

"We are -- at the hole in the wall where we met."

Tobias laughed. "You're sentimental for _The Green Mile_?"

"Yeah," Elliot answered, hovering close to the table and pressing his bare stomach against Tobias's shoulder. "It's our place. I don't care that it's kinda run down. It's not [_Per Se_](http://www.perseny.com/perse/perse.htm), but..."

Tobias dropped his fork. "You were going to bring me to _Per Se_?"

"Uh, no."

"Oh."

Elliot leaned down and ran his lips over Tobias's neck. "You deserve somewhere like that, bud," he whispered, "but for now you're stuck with this overworked, underpaid detective."

"I suppose I can deal with corned beef and cabbage if I still get you," Tobias said, turning to kiss Elliot.

"What about the green eggs?"

"As long as it's only once a year..." Tobias rolled his eyes and cast his glance past Elliot into the living room. "Good Lord, there are plastic leprechauns hanging from the mantelpiece!" He squinted. "Wait, are they holding little Irish flags? Is it going to be like this every St. Patrick's Day?"

"As long as I'm Irish," Elliot grinned proudly.

"Crazy Mick."

"But you love me anyway."

"I do, even though I really think someone should have warned me about your holiday-induced insanity."

Elliot sat down and watched silently as Tobias finished up the rest of his breakfast. Downing his glass of orange juice, Tobias wiped his mouth and stood up.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Happy anniversary, bud."

Tobias grinned and hugged Elliot over the back of his chair. He kissed him softly, while his hand drifted down to play with the gold chain of Elliot's St. Michael medal.

"A whole year, Ell. Seems strange, doesn't it?"

"Kinda. But when I see you first thing in the morning lying next to me, it feels like the most perfect thing in the world."

"To me too, Dathúil." Strands of blonde hair tickled Elliot's nose as Tobias kissed him again, and they wrapped their fingers together. Tobias huffed a little laugh into the other man's neck.

"What's funny?" Elliot asked.

"It's been such a long time since I've felt this happy. My life is back on track, I'm healing, I have you...I just never thought I'd fall in love with a _cop_."

"You say that like it's a dirty word!" Elliot laughed back. "Bite your tongue, smart ass."

"I'd rather have you do it," Tobias said, leaning in for a deep kiss.

Elliot moaned and slid his fingers into Tobias's hair, pulling him closer. They locked mouths, each kissing the other more passionately, until Tobias finally pulled away.

"I need to leave now so I can get back to you as soon as I can," he whispered, nibbling on Elliot's lip. Then he smirked. "And if we keep going I'm going to have to change my pants."

Elliot laughed and smacked him on the ass. "Go, working man. I'll bet you won't be able to keep your mind on your work all day."

"You got that right. Oh, and remember what we decided."

"What was that?"

"We're not buying each other anything, right? I don't want to come home to a new Porsche or anything like that."

"I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about _that_."

"Seriously, Ell, we agreed. Dinner tonight is enough."

"We agreed; you're right," Elliot nodded, waving his hand. "You can just throw away those tickets to Hawai'i you bought for me."

"They're in the trash with the yacht and the HDTV."

"Was it a big TV?"

Tobias smirked. "Not as big as me."

"Flirt. Get your pretty ass out of here before I change my mind and handcuff you."

"We can do that later."

"_Tobias_."

The other man laughed, and he kissed Elliot on the cheek. "I'll be home as soon as I can."

"You better."

"Ell?"

"Yeah, bud?"

"Love you."

Elliot smiled. "I never get tired of hearing you say that. I love you, too. Be safe."

"Always. See you later."

* * *

It didn't take him long to clean the kitchen, so after doing that and then making the bed and doing the laundry, he decided to head to the basement and hit the weights. Focusing on lifting and working out helped him move his mind away from the shit that was nagging him lately. There were mortgage payments and child support payments; clogged gutters and a leaky faucet in the upstairs bathroom; the car was making weird clunking noises; work was as stressful as ever; and he was still anxious over the finalization of the divorce and the money that would cost him.

He picked up a dumbbell and started on his biceps. He loved working out alone rather than in a noisy gym or at the squad. It became almost Zen-like for him -- he lost all sense of time and cleared his mind in order to focus on the way his muscles reacted. Sweat began beading on his chest and arms as he flexed, and before he could tire himself out he moved to his triceps. Once he was done with that he switched from free weights to the bench press, straining himself to the edge of his limit, just to see how far he could go.

In the middle of his set the doorbell rang. He cursed, grabbed his towel, and bounded up the stairs.

Annoyed, he was ready to bitch at whoever was bothering him on a Saturday afternoon until he got a glimpse of who was standing there. He could see Olivia's brown head through the side window and went to the front door.

"Hey, Liv. C'mon in."

"Hey, Ell. I just finished up an interview not too far away and thought I'd stop by to wish you a Happy St. Pat's." She looked him up and down. "Oh, sorry, did I interrupt you?"

"No problem," he said, ushering her inside from the blast of cold air. "I don't mind the company. I'm just trying to kill time today."

"You don't have plans?"

"Not until Tobias gets off work tonight."

She walked into the living room, and Elliot motioned for her to sit. She glanced around the room and broke into a grin.

"You decorated this year."

He toweled off his back and sat down on the chair opposite her. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"First time in a while," she noted, looking around.

"First time I had a reason to. With Dickie and the kids gone, I never felt like it."

"This year is different, obviously."

He smiled. "I might have done it just to drive Tobias up the wall with what he called my 'exuberance'."

"Did you start with the Irish drinking songs already?"

"No, I made him green eggs."

Olivia laughed and leaned back into the couch. "Y'know, Ell, you really can see it."

"See what?"

"How happy you are."

He couldn't help it; he actually got embarrassed and felt himself go crimson.

"Ell," she teased, "I swear I look at you and it's like you're in love for the first time."

Elliot smirked, and then got serious. "I don't know. Maybe I am."

"You are?"

"Kathy and I started dating when we were just kids," he explained. "We hadn't even been going out for very long before she got pregnant. I know it doesn't sound very noble of me, but I barely had time to find out who I was and what we meant to each other before I had this scary responsibility. It went from having a good time to changing my entire outlook on life. And don't get me wrong, my kids are the best thing that has happened to me, but sometimes I wonder if I would have wound up with Kathy if we had just been boyfriend and girlfriend."

"You didn't love her?"

He shrugged. "I thought I did. Eventually we found a kind of happy medium together between the marriage and the kids. Life with Tobias is so much different."

"Things are good, then."

"_Great_. Today is our one-year anniversary."

"It's been a year already?"

"Yeah, since the night we met."

"Are you going somewhere to celebrate?"

"Back to _The Green Mile_, where we first bumped into each other, literally. It's silly, but sentimental."

"Elliot, you're a romantic."

"I guess," he laughed. "I don't have the money to take him somewhere nice. Next year, maybe."

They sat together in amicable silence for a bit, until Liv spoke again. "What did Kathy say?"

"About what?"

"You and Tobias."

"Oh," he said, looking down. "I haven't told her yet."

"Hmm."

"Yeah..."

"I know it's hard, Ell, but you've been seeing Tobias for a year now. Don't you think she should know?"

"I wouldn't know how to bring it up. I know I'm going to have to tell her eventually...it's eating at me. And the kids. Shit, I don't even want to think about that."

"Why?" she asked curiously.

"What do you mean, 'why?' How am I supposed to tell them about this?"

"Are you embarrassed about your relationship with Tobias?"

"No...I mean, like when I told you, I'm sure they'll think this came out of left field, but it feels right to me. It took me a while to wrap my head around it. I really love him, Liv."

"Then you have to believe that if your kids love you, they will love you no matter what."

"Easier said than done, y'know."

"I know, but don't you think it would be better to tell them than to have them find out another way?"

"Like how?"

"I don't know," she said, lifting a shoulder in a shrug. "What if they stopped by or something?"

"You're the only one who visits me," he answered with a grin.

"You know what I mean."

He sighed. "I know. It's complicated."

"You'll do the right thing. You always do."

"Thanks, Liv. I appreciate that."

"Listen," she said, patting his knee as she got up. "I didn't come to bitch at you. I just wanted to stop by and touch base. I have to get back to the squad."

"Next time you'll have to stay for dinner and meet Tobias."

"I'd like that." She smiled and rubbed the top of his head. "I need to meet this guy who has my partner all starry-eyed."

"Pathetic, isn't it?" he asked, walking her to the door.

She paused, her hand on the doorknob. "It's actually really romantic. You boys have a good evening. Happy anniversary."

He smiled at her. "See you Monday."

* * *

"You're late."

"There was traffic. We live in New York, Ell, remember?"

"Still."

"You're cute when you're pouting."

"_Tobias_."

Tobias put his coat over the back of the chair and sat down across from Elliot at the table.

It was like time had stopped at _The Green Mile_. Nothing had changed from the year before when they first met, from the yellowing wallpaper on the walls to the cardboard shamrocks strung across the bar. Boston College and Georgetown were battling it out on the court above them on the bar's TVs.

It was even more crowded than it was last year, though -- probably due to the fact that the holiday fell on a Saturday this year. People were milling about in every possible free space there was next to the bar, drinking, toasting, and laughing. It was a cacophony of clinking glasses and raised voices, along with the clicks and rattles of a billiard game going on behind Elliot and Tobias's table.

"Good thing I got here when I did," Elliot said, having to raise his voice slightly. "We never would have gotten a table."

"Hell, if we met this year we never would have held a conversation," Tobias said.

"Then lucky for you I spilled your drink all over you last year."

"Yes, lucky for me," he grinned, patting Elliot's leg surreptitiously under the table. "You look great tonight, Ell."

"See, I can get dressed without your help."

"It's a St. Patrick's Day miracle!"

"Very funny."

"Thank God you don't own a green suit."

He raised an eyebrow. "There's always next year."

Tobias laughed. "Happy anniversary, Dathúil."

"Right back at ya, bud." He lowered his voice. "Maybe next year we'll do something more romantic."

"It's okay. I just want to be with you. I don't care where we are."

"You got me. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good. I'm getting used to your Irish mug."

"Let's order."

"Do I have a choice?" Tobias asked jokingly.

"Nope. Corned beef and cabbage, because that's all they serve tonight. You don't even get to choose Coke or Pepsi. Twelve different beers, and they only have Coke."

"Since we're in a symbolic mood tonight, I think I'll have seltzer with lime."

Elliot smiled warmly at him. "I think I'll have the same."

* * *

Two platters of corned beef and cabbage, and two large plates of soda bread later, Tobias and Elliot sat nursing their seltzers.

"That's the first time I ever ate corned beef without beer," Elliot said.

"You're kidding."

"No, it's like milk and cookies."

"Did it taste different?"

"Kinda...I haven't touched alcohol in months now, though."

"I know, Ell," Tobias grinned. "I'm proud of you."

"I have other things to focus on, I suppose. It also helps that I come home to you."

"Because before the stimulating chats with me, you'd only have conversations with Misters Bud and Weiser?"

Elliot chuckled. "Something like that." He rubbed Tobias's thigh underneath the table. "My life has changed so much since that night a year ago, T. I really don't understand how it happened."

Tobias reached for him under the table. "You don't really plan to fall in love, Dathúil."

"I didn't really plan on talking to anyone that night."

"Ahhhh, Fate," Tobias laughed.

Their waitress came over to the table with their check.

"Let me pay."

"No," Tobias said, grabbing the check from Elliot, "I got it."

"No," Elliot said as he grabbed it back, "we agreed that we wouldn't buy anything for each other, and that means dinner too. We split it."

Their waitress raised her eyebrow at the comment, then took their combined cash. With a quick thank you they were alone again.

"I know we said we wouldn't buy each other anything..." Tobias started.

Elliot's face fell. "You didn't. T, we agreed! You're gonna make me feel like shit! After we talked and we said..."

Tobias brought his hand from under the table and held out a single red rose.

"You can leave the tip and we'll call it even," Tobias said softly.

Elliot swallowed the lump rising in his throat and put his hand over Tobias's. "I love you so much, bud."

"I love you too, Ell," he replied, rubbing his thumb over Elliot's knuckles. "This last year has been..."

"Ohhhhh, _fuck_," came a loud voice from the pool table behind Elliot's chair. "Since when did this become a fag bar?"

Elliot slumped and immediately took his hands away, hiding the rose under the table. Tobias glanced past him, a heated look on his face. A large, burly man stood at the pool table. He was wearing a beat-up work coat and steel-tipped boots, and had a toothpick dangling from his lip.

"I dunno, Charlie," the man said again to the guy playing pool next to him, "I didn't come in here to watch two fuckin' fags kiss all over each other."

"We _weren't _ kissing," Tobias said angrily, loudly enough for the man to hear.

"Tobias..."

"No, we weren't doing anything wrong."

"Christ, Charlie, you can't even shoot pool anymore without goddamned _cocksuckers_ fuckin' up a good time, thinking they're just like everyone else."

"We have a right to be here," Tobias said loudly, ignoring the fact that the man wasn't even speaking to him.

"Tobias, maybe we should just go."

"Why? And let this asshole ruin our night?"

The man turned in Tobias's direction then, brandishing the pool cue menacingly. "Who are you calling an asshole, fuckin' faggot _bitch_?"

Before Elliot could turn around, Tobias leapt up and over the table, knocking aside the glasses containing the last of their seltzer with a crash. He was to his feet in a second, and vaulted over the pool table. With one swift motion he knocked the pool cue from the man's hand and grabbed his throat, pushing him back against the wall.

The toothpick fell from the man's lip in surprise, both at Tobias's strength and his speed. He didn't have time to even put up a defense before Tobias was on him, his eyes wild, blonde hair falling into his face.

"I'm _no one's_ bitch," Tobias hissed at the man, who was gurgling and coughing from the pressure of Tobias's grasp.

The man's companion had dropped his cue and backed away immediately when Tobias advanced, and he now brushed past Elliot, away from the confrontation.

"Jesus, Tobias..."

Elliot grabbed Tobias's arm, but it was like Tobias chose not to notice. He squeezed his fingers tighter around the man's larynx while pushing against his chest with his other forearm. The bar had become silent at the spectacle, with everyone's attention turned toward the pool table at the back.

"I'm no one's bitch, Elliot," he growled, his eyes still fixed and wild.

Elliot moved around behind him and slipped one hand under Tobias's shoulder, readying himself to grab Tobias around the neck with the other in order to pull him to the ground. His cop training was kicking in, and he prepared himself, hoping he could talk Tobias down instead. "I know you're not, Tobias. It's okay..."

"No it's not," he said through gritted teeth. The man continued to gurgle and writhe, and Tobias squeezed his throat again.

"Tobias, listen to me," he begged, speaking low into his ear. "Baby, _listen to me_. This guy is _not_ worth it. You're on parole, and any minute someone is going to call the cops. I don't want to lose you over this stupid fuck, do you hear me? I need you with me tonight. Take a deep breath and think about what you're doing."

There was a moment of hesitation, and Elliot planted his right leg in anticipation, but Tobias inhaled deeply and released the man, who flopped to the floor coughing. "Motherfucker."

"C'mon. Let's just go. Let's go home."

Tobias backed away and walked over to their table, where he picked up the rose that Elliot had dropped in the commotion. He handed the rose back to him, and defiantly kissed him directly on the mouth. Then he wrapped his arm around Elliot's waist and allowed Elliot to guide him out of the bar.

* * *

The short car ride back to the house was spent in silence. Tobias had his face pressed against the window and refused to speak.

Elliot turned onto their street, and Tobias was out of the car as soon as Elliot pulled up in the driveway.

"Tobias, wait a minute..."

He ignored him and bounded up the steps and disappeared into the house.

Elliot sighed and turned off the car. He knew there was something more to the incident at the bar that had Tobias acting this way. He tugged his wool cap over his ears and got out of the car.

Once inside the house he tossed his coat over the back of the couch and headed up the stairs to the bedroom. He could hear the shower running.

Sitting down on the bed, he debated with himself what to do. Obviously something more than just insulting words had Tobias so upset. His first thought was to go to him and console him, but perhaps this was something Tobias needed to work out on his own. Then again, Tobias's reaction to what the man said surprised even Elliot. He never expected to see such an angry, feral look in his eyes. To be honest, Elliot thought Tobias really was going to choke the guy to death.

No, something was wrong. Tobias would just have to deal with having a boyfriend who cared about him too damn much to let him suffer by himself.

He stripped his clothes off and tossed them into a pile at the foot of the bed. Grabbing a towel from the linen closet, he opened the bathroom door, getting hit with a blast of steam as he did so.

"Tobias?"

The other man didn't say anything, so Elliot slowly pulled the shower curtain back.

"I'm coming in."

He waited for Tobias's nod, then stepped in. He hugged Tobias close from behind, brushed Tobias's damp hair to the side, and then kissed the back of his neck.

"Tell me what's going on," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry, Ell."

"It's okay, bud. Talk to me."

The other man turned to face him, allowing the water to course down his back. "It came back to me tonight. I lost myself there for a second."

Elliot kissed him softly. "What came back?"

"Oz," he answered, looking away. "I heard that guy call me a bitch and the next thing I knew I was choking him."

"You just reacted."

"I know; that's what scares me. It was like someone flipped a switch or something." Tobias leaned his hand against the wall of the shower. "God."

Elliot kissed him again. "This is going to sound strange coming from the guy who can't seem to express his feelings, but maybe we need to find you someone to talk to."

"Talk to?"

"A professional who can help you deal with situations like this."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I haven't really been in any real type of therapy since Oz. I went through the parole-stipulated AA meetings, of course. Being sober I can handle. The other stuff is what's affecting me."

"We'll get through it."

"You always sound so sure."

"Why wouldn't I be? I know what kind of man you are, T. We both have our shit, remember?"

"Thanks for being there, Ell."

Elliot leaned in and kissed him deeply, the water from the shower cascading over their mouths and chins. He pulled away, and then reached for the soap.

He began by lathering his own chest and neck. He moved from his underarms to his stomach, to the tops of his thighs, and then he cupped his balls. Scrubbing himself gently, he slowly worked the suds over his cock, enjoying the sight of Tobias watching him, mouth open. Then he reached up and turned Tobias around. He began kneading Tobias's shoulders and back, rubbing the soap up and down soothingly. He allowed his fingers to tease and tickle as they slid to the small of Tobias's back and hips. Then Elliot pressed against him, and moved his fingers to the crease of Tobias's ass.

"Tobias..."

Tobias turned to look over his shoulder.

"I want us to celebrate our anniversary."

Turning all the way around now, Tobias gave Elliot a look. "I think dinner was enough, Ell. I really don't want to go anywhere else tonight after what happened."

"I'm not talking about going anywhere."

"Then what are you..."

Elliot interrupted Tobias by grabbing his cock. Tobias inhaled sharply, hissing through his teeth, and bent his head back into the coursing water. He was oblivious to it trickling over his face as Elliot began to move his soap-slicked hand up and down his hardening cock.

"I want you, Tobias. Tonight."

"Are you s-saying what I think you are?" he stuttered.

"Yes," Elliot answered, his voice breathy. "I want to make love to you."

* * *

Elliot led Tobias from the shower, and they toweled each other off. The steam rose around them as they found each other's lips, both of them hungry and wanting. Elliot pushed Tobias back against the edge of the sink, moving between Tobias's spread legs to kiss him more deeply.

Tobias reached up to thread his fingers in Elliot's damp hair, causing droplets of water to trail over his forehead and eyelashes. Breaking their kiss, Tobias flicked his tongue out to lick at the beads of water.

Elliot sighed, drawing the other man closer into an embrace. "You feel so good."

Tobias grabbed for Elliot's hand. "Let's go to bed."

Elliot walked behind him, hand in hand, until they stood next to the white down comforter of the bed.

Tobias pulled it and the sheets back, kneeling onto the mattress naked. He turned over onto his back and propped himself up against the pillows, brushing his long damp hair over his shoulders. Tucking one arm beneath the pillow, he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Slowly he began touching himself -- first sliding his fingertip seductively down his neck and throat, then over his chest, and finally tracing circles on his stomach. Tobias's cock began to respond, twitching every time he brought his fingers closer to the crease of his hip.

Elliot's pulse began to quicken at the sight, especially the way Tobias simply lay there, completely comfortable with himself and his body and the knowledge that he was turning Elliot on. When Tobias began stroking himself, Elliot moved onto the bed. Tobias didn't open his eyes; he just moved over slightly to allow Elliot to sit down next to him.

Tobias touched himself gently, caressing himself from the base of his balls to the tip of his cock. He grew harder, and Elliot whimpered and began touching himself.

Tobias's eyes popped open and he smiled. "Kiss me."

Elliot moved on top of him, their hard cocks brushing together, and he opened his mouth to the man under him. He offered small, hesitant kisses at first, until Tobias gripped his ass. With that Elliot's kisses deepened, and he thrust his tongue inside Tobias's mouth. The other man met the sensation in turn, their tongues clashing and writhing together.

Elliot moved his mouth down Tobias's chin, to his throat, where he lapped at this Adam's apple. He teased his tongue down to the hollow of Tobias's collarbone, and sucked there. Tobias hissed and wrapped his arms around Elliot, guiding him to his neck.

Elliot placed light, fluttery touches of his lips against the other man's neck, mouthing against the tendons that were tightening in appreciation. Taking Tobias's earlobe into his mouth, he sucked lightly, and Tobias moaned.

As he kissed him again, he felt Tobias move his hand down and under both of them, in order to find Elliot's cock. Tobias closed his fist around it and Elliot bucked at the sensation. He found Tobias's mouth and kissed him again.

Tobias moved his other hand now to the base of Elliot's spine. He slid his finger into the crease of Elliot's ass and pressed slightly. Elliot bucked into his hand again, and Tobias let out a throaty chuckle.

Elliot continued to kiss him while Tobias gently began rubbing Elliot's anus. The simultaneous stroking of his cock and the gentle pressure made him relax and get harder.

Tobias broke the kiss. "Get the lube."

Elliot leaned over into the nightstand drawer and flipped the cap open on the lube. Tobias smirked as he held his hand out and Elliot dripped the gel over his fingers.

Going back to kissing him, Elliot could feel Tobias stroking him again, and this time when Elliot moaned he slowly pushed his finger inside.

"Oh God," Elliot gasped.

"Does it hurt?"

"No...n-no, that feels _great_."

Tobias chuckled and continued his efforts. Soon Elliot had pushed up on his arms to allow Tobias better access.

Elliot had his eyes closed, and didn't notice when Tobias slid down on the bed. He glanced down to see Tobias still on his back, looking up at him from right under his cock, his hand on Elliot's ass.

"Tobias?"

"Let me taste you."

"I...Jesus..."

"I want you, Ell."

Elliot nodded silently and pitched his hips downward. Suddenly Tobias's mouth was around his cock, and he nearly saw stars.

Tobias used his teeth to rake up and down Elliot's cock while pumping his finger gently inside him at the same time. Elliot barely felt like he was on the bed as Tobias took him in his mouth again and again, pushing the head of his cock deep into his throat while pushing into his ass.

"Yessss, T, oh _fuck_ that feels good."

Tobias circled his tongue over the tip of Elliot's cock, trailing it down the underside, and then taking it all into his mouth. Elliot began to pant and moan, unconsciously rocking his hips to meet Tobias's lips.

Finally Tobias let go, and removed his finger. Elliot let out a disappointed whimper as the other man pushed up on the bed and propped himself back up against the pillows again.

Locking eyes with him, Tobias wrapped his arms around Elliot's neck and pulled him down on top of him, once more pushing their cocks together. Tobias was as hard as Elliot, and he rubbed himself against the other man's thigh.

"Dathúil," he whispered, the need evident in his voice.

Tobias kissed Elliot hungrily, his hands moving over his back, thighs, ass, and shoulders.

Elliot met the other man's eyes again and kissed his neck. "Tobias...baby...God, you look so beautiful."

"Ell...I want..."

Elliot looked at him. "Anything..."

"I want you inside me," he panted. "I love you so damn much...I want to feel you..."

Elliot nodded, and again reached over into the nightstand for the box of condoms they had bought weeks ago. Somewhere between his desire and excitement, Elliot came to the realization that this was really happening. Tobias moved the pillows from beneath his head so that he was flat on his back, and he spread his legs.

Elliot's hands shook as he tried to rip open the wrapper, causing him to fumble with the thing and drop it. Tobias chuckled and reached down for the condom.

"Slowly, Dathúil. Let me."

Tobias ripped the foil with his teeth, and then beckoned Elliot closer with a crooked finger. He placed the tip over the head of Elliot's already-leaking cock, and rolled the condom down, teasingly raking his nails along the sides of Elliot's dick. Tobias grabbed the lube and slicked his hand, rubbing it generously over himself and Elliot.

Elliot kneeled there -- glancing down at his lover who had the most serene look on his face -- and suddenly froze. His mind raced as all his insecurities came bubbling to the surface.

"Ell..." Tobias whispered.

"Yeah?" he whispered back.

Tobias had his hands on Elliot's thighs. "You're shaking."

"Y-Yeah."

"Don't be scared."

"I can't help it."

Tobias reached for his hand. "Ell, look at me."

"Tobias..."

"_Look at me_."

Elliot locked eyes with the man beneath him.

"I love you. There's nothing to be afraid of; I'm right here. I want to share this with you."

"But...but what if I don't do it right?"

"There's no way you could do it _wrong_. Just look into my eyes. You'll know."

Elliot swallowed and nodded. "You'll tell me if..."

"Ell...you'll know. I have you in my arms, I love you, and there's no place I'd rather be. I'm yours."

"You're mine."

"I am. Always."

Elliot bent down to offer Tobias a lingering kiss. Then he returned to his knees and positioned himself. He couldn't help but exhale a nervous breath.

He locked eyes with Tobias again, and the other man smiled. Elliot could feel himself getting lost in those blue eyes as he began rubbing himself at Tobias's opening, watching as Tobias began stroking himself in anticipation.

Elliot hovered, unsure of exactly the right position, until Tobias reached down to grip him. He pulled Elliot closer, guiding him.

Thankful, Elliot rose higher on his knees to accommodate the angle. Slowly, hesitatingly, he started to push.

Tobias hissed and Elliot stopped, panic rising.

"No," Tobias gasped, "don't stop..."

Elliot heeded his words, until eventually he found himself skin to skin, buried deep.

Slowly he began rocking his hips, pressing and squeezing and nearly passing out from the feeling. It was more than he ever expected -- it was beyond what he imagined. Every nerve in his body was on edge and tingling from the sensation, unlike anything he had ever experienced with Kathy. It wasn't just the sex, either; it felt different on an emotional level as well.

He felt like he had lived more in the year with Tobias than he had in the past 20 with Kathy. He resisted the urge to feel guilty, focusing instead on Tobias's ability to accept him and love him for the way he was, fucked up and all. Years of suffering and rage -- and not being able to share that with anyone -- hit him in that moment.

Emotion surged within him and he blinked back tears, turning his head away.

True to his word, Tobias was right there with him and laced his fingers with Elliot's. "Look at me," he said, his voice breaking. "I need you, Dathúil."

Elliot faced him, letting his tears flow freely.

Tobias reached up to cup his cheek, and moved his hips to press harder onto Elliot.

Elliot moaned and licked his lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Ell."

Elliot sped up the pace now, and Tobias gasped in satisfaction. It brought a smile to Elliot's lips; he felt both a sense of power and happiness at being to please him like this. He leaned over now, getting into a better position to thrust deeper.

Tobias moaned and gritted his teeth. They moved in a powerful rhythm, each of them giving and taking a little from the other. Tobias reached down and began pumping his cock again as Elliot quickened the pace.

"Oh God, Ell...yes...yessssssss....harder...please..."

Balancing himself with his arms, Elliot pumped harder and faster. Tobias cried out in pleasure and wrapped his arm around Elliot's waist, pulling him lower. Elliot pressed his lips to Tobias's and kissed him while he used the tense muscles in his thighs and back to fuck his lover harder.

The headboard began tapping the wall, as if urging Elliot on. Tobias threw his head back, eyes closed, his fist speeding up in rhythm as he stroked his cock.

"Come for me, baby," Elliot gasped in his ear. "So fucking beautiful..."

Elliot shifted his knees, changing the angle. Tobias inhaled deeply and raked his fingernails over Elliot's back as he neared orgasm.

"Yeahhhh," Elliot moaned in appreciation.

Tobias gasped and bucked, nearly screaming Elliot's name as he came, splashing his stomach, chest, and even neck.

"Shit," Elliot smiled in amazement.

Tobias laughed and gasped for air, twitching and shivering as he continued to pump himself, legs moving beneath Elliot's strong thighs. Finally he collapsed against the sheets, spent.

Elliot rocked his hips slowly and then began to pull out. As he did so, Tobias looked down at him and flexed his muscles, squeezing Elliot's cock.

Elliot's eyes went wide and he pulled himself from Tobias, immediately ripping the condom from himself. Pumping furiously, he moaned loudly, then gasped breathlessly as he orgasmed, spilling over Tobias's stomach and hips.

He fell to the bed next to Tobias, and suddenly he began to laugh.

Tobias looked at him strangely, then was infected by Elliot's giggling. Both men lay there in each other's arms, laughing.

"You were fucking incredible, Tobias," Elliot said at last, coming down from the high.

"So were you, Ell. I told you."

Elliot turned to him and kissed his neck. "You did. God, I was nervous."

"You should have watched more porn."

At that both men started laughing again.

"Happy anniversary, bud," Elliot said, leaning over to kiss him.

"And to you, Elliot. You were amazing."

"I guess this was better than exchanging gifts," he laughed.

"No Porsche then, huh?"

Elliot smacked him on the ass. "Not this year."

Tobias snuggled into Elliot, and Elliot pulled the covers over them. "I'm happy as long as I have you," Tobias said quietly from the crook of Elliot's arm.

"I'm not going anywhere."

"No?"

"Nope."

"Good. I can get used to this."

"Me too, bud," Elliot said, kissing him on the cheek. "Me too."

The End. Thanks to everyone for reading, and for all the wonderful feedback.


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